Author: Mariann

Rating: PG-13

Category: Filk, Angst

Spoilers: "Nothing Important Happened Today", general myth arc.

Keywords: Filk, MSR

Summary: In the still of the night, Mulder ponders leaving town...and Scully.

Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Files or the song "Here's To The Night" by Eve 6. I will not be making money off the use of either here.

Feedback: Much appreciated! mysticalmare@aol.com

Archive: Any/All, but please let me know where it's going.

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Here's To The Night
By
Mariann

In the dark bedroom of an apartment in Georgetown, a small family spent what would most likely be their first and only night sleeping under the same roof. Fox Mulder pondered this, holding a sleeping Dana Scully in his arms as they lay together in the still of the night. Next to the bed a bassinet held the newly born William Scully, a miracle in and of himself.

o/~ So denied, so I lied o/~

Many times over the last nine years Mulder had wanted to tell Scully he loved her. They were only three little words, but he couldn't work up the courage to say them, in fear of finding out the only woman he had ever truly loved didn't love him back. So he denied his feelings for his partner, lying to himself that a romance between the two wouldn't work out, no matter how much he longed for one.

o/~ Are you the now or never kind? o/~

The first time he regretted not saying them to her was on Skyland Mountain, when he first realized he might never see her again, but he hadn't been able to say it after her return. Then he kept meaning to tell her while she struggled through cancer, but he feared upsetting her. And after their first near kiss in the hallway outside his apartment he began to realize the feelings were mutual, but even then he couldn't confess his love for her.

Now they were faced with being separated once again, and they didn't know for how long. Unlike their respective abductions, this time they would have a chance to say goodbye. It was now or never, another opportunity for Mulder to tell Scully of his feelings might not come. So he did and in turn, she admitted she had felt the same for a long time as well.

o/~ In a day and a day love I'm gonna be gone for good again o/~

Two days ago he had gotten the warning from Kersh that his life was still in jeopardy. Mulder had known this a week ago, but figured the threat had died in the parking garage with Krycek. He didn't believe the Assistant Director, but Scully did. And it was Scully that made the decision that he had to leave until the danger was gone.

There was no timetable for them to work with. It could be months or even years before it would safe for Mulder to return. He didn't want to leave Scully, especially with her own life and the life of her baby in danger as well. If he were to leave, who would protect them? But she would have it no other way, though it hurt her as bad as it hurt him. Scully had put aside her feelings and needs to do what was best for him, as she had done so many times before.

o/~ Are you willing to be had? o/~ Are you cool with just tonight? o/~

The events leading up to Mulder's late night pondering still amazed him. There had been sadness and tears when they came to the agreement he would leave first thing tomorrow morning. As hard as it was, they forced themselves to not think about the departure, but instead concentrate on the present. It was then that they finally expressed their feelings for each other...verbally and physically. Another chance to do so might never come.

When they made love it was a beautiful, almost spiritual thing. The world disappeared around them and for a short time they were one. Afterwards they curled up in each other's arms and talked quietly, the way they had so many other nights before. Scully, tired from the rigors of parenting an infant, lost the battle to sleep after a few hours. Mulder listened to her breathing, staying awake just to feel her in his arms.

o/~ Put your name on the line Along with place and time o/~

It perplexed him greatly that soon he would be leaving everything that he had behind. He didn't know where he was going to go, but it didn't really matter to him. Scully wouldn't be there, she couldn't even know where he was going. Communication between the two could be dangerous, but Mulder silently vowed to find a way to keep in touch with her. He had to, he couldn't live without her presence in his life, no matter how minimal.

o/~ Wanna stay, not to go I wanna ditch the logical o/~

Mulder couldn't care less that his life was in danger, he would risk it all to be with Scully. He knew she was well aware of that, which was why she had to insist that he leave. He finally agreed, not for his own safety but to protect Scully and her baby. If something happened to them because of his presence he would never be able to forgive himself. He didn't want to go, but for their safety he would. Because he loved them he would. o/~ All my time is frozen motion Can't I stay an hour or two or more? o/~

If he had been able to have one wish granted, it would be for this night never to end. For time to freeze, and let them stay in the warmth of each other's arms for eternity. The reality of it was cold, his time with Scully was almost over.... for now and possibly even for good. Mulder's heart ached as he thought of all the things he would miss...all the moments he would not be able to be at Scully's side.

He would've given up his whole life right then, just for a few more hours with her. To see her smile again, to hear her contradict his theories again, and to hold her again.

o/~ Don't let me let you go... o/~

Mulder held Scully closer, not wanting to ever let go. The bedroom was still dark, but the hours of night were wearing out and morning would soon come. Reality was beginning to settle in, and he knew this special night was almost over. It would be over much too soon.

o/~ Here's to the nights we felt alive o/~

Mulder looked back on all the nights he and Scully had spent together in the last nine years. There were so many memories of stakeouts, cramped small town hotels, and bedside vigils at hospitals. Every one of those nights held a special place in his heart. He had felt so alive those nights, like everything would be all right as long as he had Scully by his side.

o/~ Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry o/~

Tears began to form in his eyes, as the first lights of dawn came in through the window. They would be the first of many tears that morning. Mulder hated to see Scully cry more then anything in the world, and he knew that she would when it came time for him to leave. The pain was overwhelming, but he forced himself to gain composure. He had to be strong, for her...he had to show her that he didn't think they would be apart for long. But the truth was, he didn't know that for sure.

o/~ Here's to goodbye o/~

How could he even begin to say goodbye to the person that meant the most to him in this world? He had finally told her that he loved her, and now his only regret was not telling her sooner. But there was more he had to say. He had to thank her for following him on so many wild goose chase X-Files, for becoming his truth admit the lies...and for being his one in five billion.

o/~ Tomorrow's gonna come too soon o/~

Light was streaming into the windows now, and William was beginning to fuss. He could feel Scully stir in his arms, beginning to wake up. He kissed her cheek and gave her a final squeeze, savoring the feel of her body in his arms. The tomorrow he had dreaded was now today. And, as he had predicted when night first fell, it had come much too soon.

The End
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